


Love and Thorns in a Not-So-Haunted House

by Lacrow



Series: Forgers' First Halloween [2]
Category: SPY x FAMILY (Manga)
Genre: Dark Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Halloween, Haunted House, Horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26989978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacrow/pseuds/Lacrow
Summary: With the incident from last week far behind them, the Forgers go back to business as usual...that is until Anya and several other Eden Academy students stumble upon flyers for a mysterious haunted house attraction outside school. With only a date and no address, people are left with more questions than answers. Where is this place? Why can't it be found? And, perhaps most importantly, who was really on the other line when mama went to pick up the phone...?
Relationships: Loid Forger | Twilight/Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess
Series: Forgers' First Halloween [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947634
Comments: 13
Kudos: 61
Collections: Forger Spookfest





	Love and Thorns in a Not-So-Haunted House

**Author's Note:**

> Another Forger Spookfest fic. All future ones will be based off reader suggestions, and this one is a mix of two different ones (although I kinda changed some things around a bit, specifically the costumes.)
> 
> “...Yor dressing up as an esper, Loid dressing up as a hitman and Anya as a spy would be cute...” - Amelia (Ao3)
> 
> “The Forgers are not an ordinary family, so what do you think they’ll react when they visited a haunted house? You know the kind of attraction in a festival, or something like that :)” - @tare-anime (tumblr)

"Mama, mama, mama!" Anya shouted as she scrambled through the door, not even bothering to close it behind her. "Look at this!"

Yor immediately spun around. Her daughter's sudden return from school had interrupted her dusting of the living room, though the chore was quickly abandoned when the little girl thrust an orange flyer high above her head and waved it for mama to see. Yor blinked before grabbing the paper. She eased into a smile and started to scan it; Anya could barely contain herself as she followed her mother, who at the same time went to close the door in order to keep Bond from getting out. Multi-tasking was one of the few things mama was good at, besides of course murdering people.

 ** _Haunted House!_** The title splayed in excited bold letters at the top of the flyer. A picture of a cartoony-looking two-story house was centered in the middle, and beneath that were the time and date of said event; exactly one week and a day away, Saturday at 7 o'clock. The location was a bit of a mystery though, as it didn't refer to _where,_ only when. Pictures of ghosts and ghouls bordered the paper, but other than that it remained conspicuously bare. Yor tilted her head.

"It doesn't say where it's at, Anya," she pointed out. Yor flipped the paper over just to be sure, but again there was nothing.

Anya nodded. "Me and Becky found it on the ground outside school. A bunch of other kids found papers, too. They all wanna go, but we don't know where to find it!"

Yor frowned. She shook her head; someone must have forgotten to put an address. "Nobody has any idea? Not even the teachers?"

"We asked Mr. Henderson about it, but all he said was..." Anya straightened herself out and put on her best old-man face. She cleared her throat. "... _Most inelegant."_

Yor giggled. "Well, that certainly sounds like Mr. Henderson." She thought about it for a moment. "Maybe Loid will know? If anyone can figure it out, he can."

Anya agreed right away (she kinda figured they'd end up relying on papa anyway) and with a confirming nod made her way over to the dining room table. She swung her backpack around and pulled out her math homework. Anya knew it'd be way easier to ask papa for something if she did something for him first so, despite her distaste for fractions, she forced herself to knock out this week's questions before he got home. The gesture didn't go unnoticed, at least; Yor saw her daughter being responsible for a change and she beamed. Disappearing into the kitchen for a moment, she returned a moment later with a couple cookies and some juice. Anya got through about two problems before she fell victim to the siren call of sugar (which to be fair was still better than usual for her).

It wouldn't have mattered much, anyway. Not long after Anya sat down, the front door opened again. Papa entered, and the apartment came to life once more; Bond boofed, mama welcomed him, and Anya straightened in her chair to pretend like she'd just been contemplating the secrets of the math universe. Papa was a world-class spy, but when it came to school even a tiny bit of effort from her was enough to make him impressed. Such was the case now when, after he'd shed his work attire and settled in, Loid walked over and noticed her (very exaggerated) thinking face.

"Oh?" he smirked, looking over her shoulder. He immediately noticed cookie crumbs on his daughter's mouth, but didn't dwell on it. "Working on homework?"

"Mhm!" Anya beamed up at him with the sweetest face she could muster. "I just _realllyy_ wanted to get get these fractions done before playing today!"

Loid's smirk turned into a smile, and internally Anya patted herself on the back; all according to plan. She'd successfully buttered up papa, now all Anya needed was for mama to help her out. She glanced at Yor and found a knowing look waiting for her, as if _mama_ was really the psychic one. Taking her cue, Yor walked up to her husband and handed him the flyer. He raised a brow.

"Speaking of playing, Anya found this at school," she informed him. "It looks like it could be a lot of fun!"

"A haunted house?" Loid stroked his chin. He flipped the paper over, same as his wife. "'Tis the season, I suppose."

Yor nodded. "The only problem is we don't know where it is, only the day and time. We were hoping maybe you could figure it out?"

Loid made an inquisitive sort of face. "Well, there's no address, that's for sure. Maybe I can ask around at work and see if anyone knows anything."

Both at the clinic and the safe house; two jobs with intelligent people working at them, someone must have known _something._ Loid focused on the paper and before shrugging. No address seemed strange, though it was more than likely an oversight on the editor's part. A glaring, albiet honest one. Loid looked over at Yor and found her smiling cheerfully at his promise to get to the bottom of things, and he spared her the same before glancing at Anya. She had already gone back to doing her homework, and Loid shook his head knowingly.

Anya had been on her best behavior since that whole business with the fork last week.

Absently, Loid rubbed the spot on his chest where his daughter had stabbed him with silver prongs. Of course it hadn't hurt _that_ bad (he'd been stabbed by far worse doing spy work) but doing it to him while he slept was a whole other thing entirely. Her punishment had ended on Monday, and it was now Friday. Against his better judgement, he held nothing against her. She'd served her time, and past actions shouldn't impact the future. Especially when said future held another opportunity for family bonding and, likewise, a benefit to Operation Strix.

Ulterior motives aside, Loid gave his family a genuine promise to take them to the haunted house should he find its location. Yor pressed her hands together in joy and Anya's head shot up in silent victory. The latter said nothing before returning to her homework a moment later, and with that the Forgers separated to go about the rest of their day. Loid went to the kitchen to pull out a roast for dinner, while Yor resumed her previously interrupted dusting. Bond sat by the dining room table at Anya's feet, and the four of them carried on as usual in peace.

* * *

As it turned out, finding the stupid haunted house was harder than Loid had anticipated.

He asked around at the clinic, but found nothing. Only a minority of the other doctors had children; among them were several that attended Eden and had found the same flyer, though they were just as stumped as Loid. Striking out but undeterred, he then turned his attention to Safe House G; despite Handler's initial reluctance to utilize WISE resources to find something as superfluous as a children's amusement house, she quickly eased up and shrugged at Loid's request. It's not like it would take long to figure it out, anyway.

At least that's what they thought.

Both Loid and Handler were stumped to find the haunted house still suspiciously elusive. Once word got back that surveillance had come back empty, the latter suggested there was no house to begin with. A child's prank, she proposed. Though it wasn't entirely outside the realm of possibility, Loid still had one last avenue to explore. It came in the form of a short man with a scraggly chin and scruffy hair. Glasses reflected fluorescent lights and did a fine job of hiding Franky's smug satisfaction at Loid's desperation. Not that he had the gall (or courage) to wave it in his friend's face directly. No, all he did was lean forward over the counter of his kiosk and did his best to not look conspicuous, which at the moment seemed difficult for him.

"If it's information you need, I'm your man!" Franky announced haughtily. He rubbed his nose with his finger. "For a price, of course."

"Fine," Loid replied as he pulled out some dalc, already noticing the dollar signs in Franky's eyes. "Oh, and I'm gonna need you to babysit Anya soon."

"Done," Franky nodded. He counted the cash in his hand before slipping it into his back pocket. "I won't charge you for that, though. She's always fun to watch."

Apprehensive thoughts about the delinquent duo of Franky and Anya aside, Loid was just happy to finally find the haunted house's location. According to Franky, there was an unassuming building downtown; sandwiched between two others, it was easily overlooked and, for lack of a better term, looked like crap. Not at all like the picture on the flyer, it instead looked like the remnants of what used to be a warehouse of some sort. There had been a lot of activity around it as of late, and a quick pop-in from Loid confirmed that this was due to renovations being made inside to make the place look spookier. Why it had been such a chore to find the place was a mystery, but one that failed to entice Loid into exploring further. He simply relayed the information to Anya, who then told the rest of her classmates.

Excitement swept over the kids at Eden; the haunted house trip was a-go.

Things proceeded quickly after that. Since it seemed the place would only be open for one night, everyone would be there on Saturday as indicated by the flyer. Anya begged for her friend Becky to come along, and seeing as how neither Yor nor Loid had a problem with it plans were made to pick her up on the way over. What's more, the kids apparently were all going in-costume. Anya and Becky both agreed to go dressed as princesses, and Yor quickly found a dress that fit the description well enough. The day before was spent making minor alterations to the former's dress, though Loid was more qualified for such a chore than his wife. Yor observed diligently as her husband awkwardly held pins in his mouth while messing with Anya's costume as she wore it.

"Hold still," he muttered. Anya straightened stiffly as her papa pulled her dress out more. He shook his head. "Not _that_ still, you look like a statue!"

Anya nodded despite not understanding; how still was _too_ still? Sometimes dads didn't make a whole lot of sense.

Yor interjected. "Would you like me to do anything?"

Loid shook his head. He took a pin from his mouth and squinted while focusing on a particular spot on Anya's dress. "I've got it. Almost done, anyway."

Yor nodded, but couldn't help feeling a bit useless at the moment. She stood, watched, and waited in case her family might need her for something. Not that she didn't particularly think Loid couldn't handle it, it's just she didn't have anything else to do. At least, not at first; after a few more minutes of bored waiting, the phone suddenly started to ring. Immediately Loid looked over to his wife, and she nodded back just as quickly. Yor bounced for the handle, and she promptly held it up to her ears. She gave a polite hello and was immediately greeted with a familiar voice.

_"There are customers that need serving."_

Yor froze. Her eyes grew wide. She quickly glanced over her shoulder at Loid and Anya and found her family still hard at work on the latter's costume. Yor knew they couldn't hear the voice on the phone, but part of her was still terrified at the notion. Very rarely were they ever in the same room when her employer came calling; usually such discussions over the phone were held late at night when both hand gone to bed. Shopkeeper was well aware of her situation. The last thing she needed was for Loid and Anya to become suspicious.

_"It's the middle of the day. I assume you're with your family. Don't speak, just listen."_

Yor began to nod, but just as quickly stopped herself; it's not like Shopkeeper could see her, anyway.

_"The Shop has taken inventory. A ring of human traffickers is operating under the guise of a haunted house."  
_

A gasp. Yor muffled it with her hand; too quiet for her family to hear it, but definitely loud enough for Shopkeeper to notice.

_"Their aim is to abduct the children of notable Ostanian figures and hold them ransom. Or, if that doesn't work, sell them off elsewhere."_

Notable figures...like the parents of Eden academy students? Immediately the blood in Yor's veins ran cold, and her irises disappeared in disbelief.

_"The haunted house is open tomorrow for one night only, and the entire ring will be there. There are no pictures this time. You are to serve them all indiscriminately."_

This time Yor nodded without hesitation. Ice thawed and gave way to a lit fire. Her eyes narrowed; she'd have been damned if she let anything happen to her daughter.

Shopkeeper gave the necessary information (though Yor already knew where the haunted house was) and a moment later there was silence. The brief was, well, brief, and there was no warning before the call ended. Yor was left to stand there and try to process everything quickly; there was no doubt in her mind that the haunted house she and Loid were taking the girls to tomorrow was to be her target, and the thought only caused more anger to bubble in her chest. To think that she very nearly put her own daughter in danger...it was almost too much to think about, but she at least took solace in the fact that now she knew.

"Yor?" Loid's voice called out to her, and the woman spun around to face her husband. "Who was that on the phone?"

"...That was the electric company, apparently I'd forgotten to pay this month's bill," Yor smiled, feigning embarrassment. "Sorry!"

Loid nodded and offered to swing by the bank tomorrow and pay it. Yor of course politely told him she would do it (seeing as how there was no bill to begin with) and left it at that. Loid and Anya returned to the task at hand, while Yor excused herself to her room for a moment. As soon as the door closed behind her she let out a heavy sigh and refocused; she had a lot of preparation to do for tomorrow. An entire haunted house full of targets...it wasn't far outside her capabilities, but this whole thing was going to be much more difficult than a typical hit for one key reason.

She still had to take the girls out with Loid.

It wasn't only because she didn't want to abandon her family, but also because if she bailed on them and was somehow recognized at the haunted house, her entire cover would be blown. Yor couldn't deny Shopkeeper's request, simply out of principle; her own daughter's safety was now on the line, plus she also had to keep up appearances as a happy wife and mother. Not to say she wasn't happy, per say, but...ugh, this whole thing was going to be a nightmare juggling. Two appointments, and she had obligations to them both.

Yor held her cheek before steeling herself. She had multiple jobs to do, and there was no use in trying to fight it. All she could do was tend to both as best as possible. To that end, she needed to be prepared. With one last deep breath, Yor went straight to work. She dug through her closet for all the poison knives she could find. While there she also dusted off her Throne Princess dress, which admittedly hadn't seen much use lately, and something else too; a request from her daughter that came at the same time she bought her the princess costume.

Yor looked between her dress and the _other_ article of clothing in her hand and scrunched her face up; maybe she could make this work for her?

* * *

"I fail to understand why we _also_ had to wear costumes," Loid grumbled in defeat. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Because, it's a haunted house!" Yor replied cheerfully. She beamed despite her husband's dour attitude.

Becky chimed in; she clasped both hands against the side of her cheek and sighed dreamily. "You look great, Mr. Forger!"

"Yeah, papa!" Anya added enthusiastically. She pumped the air with two fists. "It looks just like the real thing!"

Waiting for their turn to enter the haunted house, the Forgers and Becky inched forward. All eyes were on Loid and his costume; a long coat, hat, and gloves. Really it wasn't too different from his usual attire, save for the black mask that covered his eyes. Anya had begged him to put the blasted thing on, though he only relented once Yor also requested as much from him. He couldn't deny them both, not without causing one or the other to become upset, so against his will he fulfilled their wish. Before leaving to pick up Becky from her house, Loid looked at himself in the mirror and sighed.

Bondman.

He looked just like Bondman.

Loid looked over at his reflection in one of the windows and thanked god that his mask could hide his otherwise obvious fluster. This whole thing was completely degrading; Anya and Becky kept pointing at his costume and giggling amongst themselves through secret whispers. The only good thing about his situation, he supposed, was that he at least wasn't alone. Yor also dressed up for the occasion. A wide-brimmed hat, a dark, form fitting dress that trailed behind her, and a broom she carried with her made for the convincing appearance of a witch.

They were the only two adults dressed up, but at least they were in it together. Also, Loid couldn't help but to feel like all their costumes were strangely familiar for some reason, though he couldn't really place his finger on it...well, regardless it wasn't important. The sooner they got through this haunted house, the better. They were one of the first families in line, and they were only letting one family in at a time. Loid's punctuality came in handy that day; being early meant being on time, and sure enough it wasn't long after the Forgers arrived that the line blew up behind them.

Loid, Yor, Anya, and Becky all moved forward. They were close to entering now, and Loid continued to focus on how the family looked. Yor meanwhile contemplated how she was going to go about exterminating everyone inside. Casually she thought about possible escape routes, how many knives she might use, where/how to kill her targets, and how she was going to rejoin the family in-between; she couldn't leave them the entire time, otherwise they would become suspicious. She'd have to utilize hit-and-run tactics. It was the most efficient method, she concluded.

Anya, meanwhile, completely ignored whatever Becky was telling her as she stared up at her mama incredulously.

Every string of thought involving the coming slaughter threaded through the little girl's mind. Dumbfounded, Yor's entire situation suddenly became painfully clear to Anya; the human trafficking ring, the Shopkeeper's words, her dedication to the family, all of it. A mixed bag of feelings landed in the little girl's lap and she had no idea how to sort through it all. On the one hand...mama was about to go full assassin in front of her for the first time, and the thought was extremely exciting. On the _other_ hand though, Anya couldn't help but to squirm at the idea that she and Becky would be potential targets for kidnapping. Not only that, but also the potential to become _slaves_ or _worse_ left an unpleasant taste in Anya's mouth. All of a sudden, she wasn't as excited about going inside.

She still would, though. In order to keep mama's job a secret, she had to act like nothing was out of the ordinary. That also meant keeping Becky out of the loop, which made her feel a little guilty, but ultimately she knew the two of them would be safe; mama was on the job, and even that aside Anya knew papa wouldn't let anything bad happen to them. With that in mind, Anya swallowed a tiny lump in her throat and put all her faith in her parents. Whatever was about to happen was in their hands now. There was no one else she trusted more.

A comforting thought considering that, before Anya knew it, it was suddenly their turn to enter the haunted house.

Becky bounced up and down in excitement. Papa gave a mild sigh. Mama smiled big and wide as if nothing was out of the ordinary, and Anya could only shake her head and pray that this didn't end up turning out like the complete and total mess like she envisioned. Whether it would be or not, only time could tell. In the meantime she just...had to stay out of mama's way.

It was dark outside, but even darker inside. Streetlights disappeared from sight once the door closed behind them, and after that the only source of light came from convincing-looking lanterns that lined the walls of a long hallway. There were no other doors, and the path before them took a sharp turn to the right into the unknown. Absently Becky and Anya reached for each other's hands; normally the latter would have grasped at her mama's fingers, but in all honesty the last thing she wanted to do was accidentally get dragged along with her assassinations.

"Go ahead, Anya. You lead," Loid motioned to his daughter. There came an audible gasp from the girl, and immediately a smirk erupted across his face. "Just kidding."

Yor giggled a little as her husband took point. The girls followed on his heels and were sandwiched by mama as she brought around the rear. Despite not having planned it, both Yor and Anya found this the ideal formation; it would be much easier for mama to slip away and do her thing without drawing attention to herself. The first few minutes were innocent enough, though. The ladies all followed Loid as they turned the corner together and scanned the walls. Various pictures of dead bodies and vampires were bordered in cheap picture frames, and cobwebs adorned everything.

"Y-you don't think those are real, do you?" Becky whispered to Anya as she pointed at the white threads. "What could've made those...?"

"Big spider," Anya replied flatly while also giving her friend an equally level stare. Becky squealed at the thought.

Unbeknownst to the girls, their little exchange was the perfect cover for Yor. Loid chuckled a little at his daughter's comment, and likewise let his guard down. At the same time the group came up to a door. The rest of the hallway was blocked off, forcing them to go through it. Loid promptly turned the knob and went in first. Becky and Anya followed him together, though not before the latter glanced over her shoulder to spy her mama real quick. Thorn Princess Yor kept walking to the blocked off portion and, in a flash, hopped off the side of the wall and landed on the other side of the obstruction as if it were nothing. Anya exhaled and made sure the door closed behind her. The remaining trio disappeared into the darkness.

Mama was on her own now.

* * *

The haunted house was, for the most part, just a decorated warehouse. The "walls" were really just elaborate props; though the wood was real, they were thin and easily shifted in order to create different spaces to funnel people in and out. Between such walls were pathways for the employees (traffickers) to walk through and follow guests as they waited for the best moment to pop out and scare them and, for the unlucky few who caught their host's eye, abduct children when they least expected it.

Yor slipped into one of these hallways and walked briskly through it in search of an exit. There was likely a room somewhere in the warehouse that was the heart of the operation, and it was this room she needed to get to first. Cut the head off the snake before dealing with its wriggling body, she mused lightly. Small lights stringed along the edges of the plywood walls and she followed them until coming to a fork. She looked between her two routes and shrugged before picking one of the hallways. It didn't really matter which. Everyone was going to die anyway.

Almost immediately, her eyes zeroed in on an individual looking through a hole in the wall. He was dressed like a mummy, and was likely waiting for someone to cross his path before jumping out behind the wall to scare them. He failed to notice her presence, and Yor took her opportunity without hesitation. She continued walking casually while spinning her witch's broom around. The end of the shaft opened up, revealing one of her signature slender knives. Without a sound, she speared the man on her way past him; a sharp jab to the back of the head is all it took. She felled him and retracted her broom without even stopping, and Yor continued her search for the main room as the man fell against the wall. He slumped to the floor, immediately dead.

"It's a good thing he's wrapped up in bandages!" Yor commented pleasantly. "It should soak up the blood...I don't want anyone to slip and hurt themselves!"

Soon she came to another fork. She went right this time, and it wasn't long until she came to an enclosed space. A room within the warehouse; it seemed constructed of plywood like everything else, though a bit more put together than the fake walls of the haunted house. Yor blinked and nodded to herself. This seemed like the place she was looking for, and she stuck her head in to take a quick peek inside. Normally not one for skulking, Yor at least wanted to make sure this wasn't really a room full of guests.

The light was dim, so as to not stand out in the warehouse. Several men stood around a large table drinking coffee. Papers and charts were spread haphazardly all over it, and one of the men pointed things out while the others watched on in boredom. Again, Yor blinked. This wasn't really what she was envisioning when she heard they were human traffickers. Maybe this was the wrong place..?

"...You're sure?" one of the men chimed into the conversation, loud enough for Yor to hear. "Those don't look like the Blackbells in there."

"Positive. That's their daughter," another man answered. He sipped his coffee. "She probably came in with her friend's family. No way the Blackbells would be caught dead in a place like this."

A snort. "I'm honestly surprised so many people showed up. Those flyers were supposed to be vague to keep the crowds small. If we grab too many kids, it'll look suspicious."

"We only need a handful, anyway. The Blackbell girl, for sure." Heads nodded. "Mine as well grab her friend, too. She's cute. Maybe one of our regulars in Hugaria will take her."

The men chuckled and leaned forward over the table to continue looking at diagrams. They went about their business complacently...that is until the lights suddenly flickered for a moment before darkening completely. Audible groans came immediately after; clearly someone had tripped over an extension cord again. One of the men instructed the others to fetch a flashlight, and after a stumble and some curse words there came a small beam of light. The man who brandished it aimed the torch at his coworkers, and they hissed at him to point it somewhere else. He snickered.

Absently, he let the flashlight land on a random spot on the wall to his left. Almost immediately, the other two men gasped; they pointed, and all three turned to find a figure standing in the thinly lit darkness. The silhouette of a woman loomed ominously before them...one of the costumed workers, perhaps? They waited for a moment and said nothing, hoping the person would look up and razz them for being scared so easily. A moment later and they got their wish...only there would be no words spoken. A wide brim hat rose, just high enough to reveal the only thing that mattered.

Two red eyes that shone like blood in the darkness.

They screamed.

* * *

Loid turned his head and raised a brow. That sounded...quite realistic.

Clearly the money spent on this place had not been divvied equally; whereas the props and costumed workers were less than impressive, Loid couldn't help but to appreciate the sound work going on in the background. He shuffled slowly forward and looked at everything dully. Cheap tricks like jump scares and side-attractions littered every corner. He was far from entertained, though he supposed it wasn't really for him in the first place. He looked over his shoulder to find Becky and Anya holding each other tightly. For some reason, Anya seemed far more terrified than her friend. He honestly pegged her as being braver than most girls her age, but the look on her face seemed more...horrified than anything else? Maybe it was the fake brains on the dresser next to them...?

"...Hey, wait a minute." Loid blinked. He halted suddenly, and the girls bumped into his leg; they were too preoccupied looking around to notice him stop. "Where's Yor?"

Anya immediately gaped. She looked up at papa and shook herself out of it. She needed to cover for mama. "Um, I think she might have taken the wrong door!"

"Another door?" Loid pondered for a moment. He was fairly certain this haunted house was on rails, so to speak. "I didn't see one when we came in..."

"Y-yup, it was right behind us!" Anya stammered. She nodded vehemently. At the same time, another scream came from afar and she flinched.

Slight concern tugged at Loid's face. He wasn't worried about Yor, but to think he missed both her absence and the door...? It irked him.

Loid shook his head and started off again. Becky followed diligently behind him, her arms likewise wrapped tightly around Anya as she held her friend close. Anya obliged, but not before throwing a glance behind them at the hallway where they'd just come through. Her eyes lingered on the entrance, and just as she and everyone else were about to turn the corner Anya could see the faint brim of mama's hat. Anya immediately became dead weight in Becky's arms; she dug her heels and informed everyone that mama had returned (at least for the moment).

Loid stopped and doubled back. He and Yor sandwiched the girls once more; the latter seemed a bit out of breath, likely because she'd ran to catch up with them (or so papa thought).

"Mama, you found us!" Anya threw her a lifeline, and thankfully she took it.

Yor nodded with feigned embarrassment. "Yes, I'm so sorry! I got lost on the way in!"

Loid accepted her explanation without a second thought. He smiled and welcomed her back, though his expression quickly shifted as he looked his wife over. Yor noticed immediately and flinched; was something the matter? Did Loid suspect something? Both she and Anya held their breath, as the latter read her mama's mind and suddenly found herself just as concerned that papa was catching on as her.

"I wish these fun house workers would be more careful," Loid sighed. He pointed at Yor's face. "They got fake blood all over you!"

Immediately the color drained from Yor's face. Absently she reached for her cheek and felt the still-warm remnants of her previous kill, and her stomach sank. Anya's did as well, but more because of what papa ended up doing a moment later; he silently removed one of his gloves and reached over for mama's face. Anya's eye twitched. She didn't need psychic powers to know what he was up to.

"Papa...no, wait...that's not..." the girl cautioned faintly. Her warning was far too quiet to be heard though, and besides it was already too late.

With the palm of his thumb, Loid brushed away the blood on Yor's face. The woman immediately turned as red as the streak on her husband's hand in embarrassment; partly because she let Loid touch real blood, and partly because of the gesture itself. Loid's hand melted her, and she shuddered as his fingers grazed the back of her neck before pulling away. Yor stared at him, hot and frozen at the same time.

"Th-thank you, Loid!" she stammered politely. Her lips squiggled as he smirked back.

"Maybe hang onto the girls from here on out?" he suggested. "That way no one gets lost again."

"...Right," Yor nodded stiffly. She looked over to Anya and Becky and frowned. "That sounds like a smart idea..."

Anya bit her lip as mama grabbed her hand. Only hers, though; thinking quickly, the little girl motioned to Loid in front of them. Go grab papa, she told her friend. That way they both had an adult to hang onto. Immediately, Becky took the bait. Hearts lit up the girl's eyes and she gave no protest before leaping over to take Loid's hand in hers.

"Protect me, Mr. Forger~!" she squeed enthusiastically.

Loid's face fell flat. He looked back at his wife and daughter and both smiled big at him; this most certainly wasn't what he had in mind. He voiced no protest, however, and merely sighed before trucking forward. With Becky skipping along at his side, Loid opened another door and the two crossed the threshold. Yor and Anya followed close by, but right before they moved to the other room there came a delay. Yor suddenly dropped to her knee. Her heels were bothering her and she needed to adjust them. The last thing she needed was to accidentally twist her ankle.

"Don't let me keep you, dear!" Yor feigned fluster. "You catch up to Loid and Becky. I'll be right there, okay?"

A crackle came as Anya used her powers, though she knew before even popping into her mama's thoughts that it was all an act. Of course, she'd play along without hesitation. Anya gave her mama a quick hug and salute before dashing off to catch up to papa. Not wanting to be a distraction, she quickly disappeared and left her mama to it. Once Yor was sure Anya couldn't see her, she quickly rose back to her feet and gathered her broom. She straightened her hat and costume before nodding to herself. Time to get back to work!

* * *

"...A-are those screams part of the haunted house...?" a concerned trafficker asked his co-worker.

Both men turned towards each other. One gave an audible shrug as his wolf costume shifted. "Either that or the guests."

"I didn't think this place was that scary though..." the un-costumed man considered shakily. "You don't suppose something happened...?"

The wolfman snorted. He flicked his cigarette away and ground it into the floor. "Like what? We pissed off some ghosts with all our renovations or something?"

Wolfman broke into biting laughter. His other stared back flatly before waving him off. In an effort to not spare him the time of day, he pulled out his own stick of nicotine and went in to light it. Cinders caught and smoke wafted, and for a moment both men just stood there in silence. They waited patiently for the first round of victims to show up. They'd already eyed them upon first entering the haunted house; a dolt dressed as a detective or something, and two girls as princesses. Both men watched through the small slit in the wall as said family was on their way at the very moment. Ah, but...wait a minute. Wasn't there also a woman with them?

"Where's the witch?" cigarette man muttered.

Wolfman stroked his chin. "Dunno. She was pretty hot, though..."

 _"...Um,"_ a soft voice hummed from out behind them. " _I'm flattered you think so, but I'm happily married."_

Both men suddenly straightened. Immediately they spun around and found the woman they'd just been talking about. The dull lights stringed along the wall bathed her in a soft glow and outlined the curves of her dress. She hid behind her wide-brimmed hat, and allowed only piercing red eyes to come through completely. One of the men, the one with the cigarette, flinched; he wasn't nearly as excited to see the woman as wolfman seemingly was. Like a true dog, the latter's tail practically wagged with excitement.

"Oh? How did you wind up back here with us?" wolfman asked eagerly. A crooked smile cut across his face.

"You really shouldn't smoke in here," Yor directed at cigarette-man, completely ignoring the hairy jerk in front of her.

Caught off-guard, the smoker blinked. Then, his face quickly soured. "Hey, screw you lady! Don't tell me how to take my break!"

Wolfman gaped at his other's rudeness. Yor, meanwhile, narrowed her eyes. "It's a fire hazard. I'd rather you not put my family in danger."

Cigarette-man spat at the woman's audacity. He glanced at his coworker, whom at that point was giving him a look to cut it out lest he ruin his chances of getting lucky. The smoker, clearly on edge and having no patience at the moment, relented bitterly. He looked at Yor as she stared at him icily, and in one last act of defiance he sneered. Sure, he'd put his cigarette out...by flicking it at the woman's head. A look of smug satisfaction swept across his face as wolfman looked at him thunderstruck, while the woman simply kept staring.

Her reaction wasn't what he was expecting.

She just stayed quiet and zeroed in on him with red eyes. Ash marred her cheek.

His face quickly dropped when she looked up and found her...smiling? "Thank you. Now I can focus on killing you."

Silence. Wolfman and cigarette-man glanced at each other, though their moment together was struck painfully short. In horror, the former watched as, suddenly, the latter gave a guttural choke. Before either of them knew what was really going on, wolfman fell to his knees. The pathway of a knife carved into his throat. He stared, wide-eyed, before falling face-forward. When he landed unceremoniously dead on the floor, that's when cigarette-man finally found the strength to move. He turned heel in a mad dash to escape...

"...Please die quickly," a quiet murmur came into his ear. His legs suddenly failed him. He was frozen. "I've still got a whole warehouse to kill."

The man went to scream, but his voice failed him. He blinked. Then, a moment later, the darkness stayed. Permanently.

* * *

As time went on, the haunted house got more and more intense.

On the one hand, Loid certainly started to appreciate the production value of the place a whole lot more. Cheap parlor tricks and bowls of spaghetti-for-brains were soon replaced with puddles of fake blood and ominous holes in the wall. Terrible screams rang out often, and he realized they were probably paying somebody to make them since it didn't sound like they were using a background tape. He supposed everything in the beginning was just a warm up for what was to come, though it was starting to get a bit too much for the girls.

Becky clung to him tightly. Her arms were wrapped around his leg, probably out of sheer terror...although her face seemed way too content for such emotion. Her eyes were closed and she gave a big smile...likely just a nervous reaction. If not, Anya at least was one hundred percent frightened; she clung to his other leg after Yor had gotten separated from them again. At first he growled at her for letting mama out of her sight so quickly, but the feeling went away once he realized his daughter was put out by everything going on around them. Her eyes were big and wide. She barely blinked. If he didn't know any better he'd have said she was scarred for life, though for the life of him he had no idea why. Anya was usually so adventurous. He didn't think a haunted house could rattle her so much.

The trio came around the corner and stopped immediately. A man dressed as a vampire suddenly popped out from behind a curtain. Loid held the girls, thinking he was going in to scare them, though blinked in confusion when the vampire seemed just as terrified as Anya. Horror swept across his face as he tripped and fell and landed on his stomach. His lower half remained behind the curtain.

"You there! Help! Please!" he screamed, reaching out for Loid. The latter simply stared, wide-eyed and puzzled. "Don't let her get meeee-!"

The vampire's voice trailed off as he was suddenly dragged behind the curtain by unknown hands. He disappeared as quickly as he came, and a moment later his screams could be heard off in the distance. Anya's jaw dropped in dumbfounded horror; mama was a savage. If only papa could hear the things she heard while walking through the haunted house, he probably wouldn't have been taking his sweet time shuffling through it. The terrified final thoughts of human traffickers as Thorn Princess Yor came for their body and soul...Anya almost felt bad for them.

_Almost._

Mama was still pretty cool, though.

With that said, Anya'd had just about enough of the place, and she realized so had papa. A quick pop into his thoughts confirmed her suspicions, and really the only reason they were still in there was because they were waiting for Yor to catch up with them. Anya became worried when, after wandering a bit more, papa suddenly got it in his head to back track and find mama. She panicked for a moment and tried to come up with some way to slow him down. Maybe fake a panic attack? No, that might backfire on her...or maybe just run off and make him chase her down? No, that would just get her grounded again, and she definitely didn't wanna make him mad again after that whole business with the fork. Loid started to turn around and Anya's stomach churned. What was she going to do...?

"...Loid? Anya? Becky?" a familiar voice called out to them, and immediately Anya breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Is that you?"

Loid and the girls all spun around. Out from around the corner, Yor stumbled out. She was notably hatless this time, and her broom was nowhere to be seen. Probably lodged in some poor guy's skull somewhere, Anya thought to herself morbidly. She kept it to herself though and simply smiled when mama jogged up to them with a big frown on her face. Reading her mind, Anya knew that her sad face was actually genuine; mama felt bad for having spent most of the night doing assassin work, and also for having to lie to Loid and the girls. A job was a job though, and she'd thankfully finished hers.

 _Customers served._ The words echoed in mama's head in tired relief.

Anya stood a little taller; she had helped save the day yet again.

Once mama had given Loid her heartfelt apology for disappearing, the latter simply shook his head. "Let's just get out of here."

Everyone agreed. Strangely, it didn't take them long to leave. Nothing stood in their way or tried to scare them anymore; Loid and Becky assumed it was just because they were close to the exit, though both Yor and Anya knew it was _really_ because there weren't any workers left to do so. As they made their way out and emerged back onto the street at the other end of the warehouse, Anya couldn't help but to consider that there were going to be a lot of disappointed kids walking through that haunted house after them. At least they'd get to go back home with their families, though.

Loid sighed once they were fully out and (politely) yanked Becky off of him. He looked over to Yor and finally noticed her absent hat and broom. He pointed them out to her and for a fraction of a second she became concerned, though immediately eased when all he did was shake his head and voice his desire to be rid of his own costume.

"I've been waiting to take this thing off all night," he muttered. He went in to untie his mask, but Yor stopped him.

"Here, let me do it for you," she offered. After having ditched him and the girls, it was the least she could do.

Mama faced papa. She reached her arms around him and untied his mask carefully, as if it were a present and she wanted to keep the bow. It took a moment, seeing as how Anya was the one who had insisted on tying it and had put in more knots than was necessary. When it finally fell off Loid's face, blue eyes suddenly became so much brighter under the streetlights. Yor's cheeks burned under their gaze. She held her husband's mask against her chest as she stared up at him, and for a moment she forgot the girls were there, too.

"Thank you," he smiled.

Yor smiled back. "Of course."

As Becky stared jealously at mama, Anya sighed in content; despite the chaos of the night, everything ended up working out in the end. The bad guys were no more. Mama and papa were getting along, and when all was said and done she at least got to experience her first haunted house, if only for a little bit. All of it was thanks to Thorn Princess Yor, and Anya couldn't help but marvel at how her mama could pull off doing two completely different things at once. Granted, papa did it on a regular basis, but then again he'd never really... _disposed_ of a whole building full of people before. At least not around her and mama, anyway.

Anya guessed it was kinda like when she first brought that flyer home; maybe all mamas were just really good at multi-tasking.

Smiling to herself, Anya accepted Yor's hand as she went to reach for her. Loid (begrudgingly) accepted Becky's once more, and together the four of them started off to catch the train to drop Becky off at her house before finally calling it a night. Yet another outing for the Forger family, and Anya couldn't wait to tell Bond all about it once they got home. Of course, she'd leave out some of the more gory details for his sake.

...Or maybe not. It _was_ going to be Halloween, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I had no intention of making this one so long, but due to how the story was structured it kinda needed to be. The other fics will be much smaller.
> 
> There's a hint for what the next fic will be about somewhere in the story (it's probably pretty obvious lol)


End file.
